Two Gentlemen of Lebowski

In a move that seems only seconded by the harrowing attempts of Pride, Prejudice and Zombies, Adam Bertocci has re-written the screenplay of The Big Lebowski in Shakespearean-writ. A small snippit, quoting Walter (John Goodman) during his rant about opening up a world of pain over 8 pins in a frame of golf.

Nay! I do protest, and draw my sword;
It shall teach thee to disobey my word.
Mark none but none into that bowler’s frame,
Else thou shalt enter into a world of pain.
A world of pain, think upon’t; unhappy world!
A lake of fire, rich with damnèd souls,
Gulfs of anguish ‘twixt vales of agonies.
Mark me; we stand at twisted, jealous gates
Of cast-iron, above which, in vulgar tongue, reads
“Here is a world of pain, thou enterest thus.”
My steel before thee, ‘tis the last of keys
That might could lock these doors, and keep thee
From this world of pain, or with one flick
Ope its mashing maw, and summon winds
To cast thee down within; an excellent key!
Farewell to earthly delights, farewell to friends,
To fellowships and follies and amends.
The choice to spare thy passage through these trials
Is thine alone; take heed, I entreat thee,
And turn thy back upon this world of pain!

I’m going to give that a second to soak in. The full piece here. I just read on the Facebook page that a copy was sent to Jeff Bridges, and the Dude abides.

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