This is something I’ve been meaning to post for a while, and my good friend Brit has convinced me to finally post this. When you look back on your 4th grade academic school year, are there many things you can remember, much less be proud of? Well I managed to stumble upon a paper I wrote in the 4th grade, about the ever lovely Pinto.
If you remember, this car was recalled due to it’s rather faulty design and ability to BURST INTO FLAMES in simple rear end collisions. This was inspiring enough as a child to write this wholy accurate paper on it. I will write it out, as reading my handwriting even today is near impossible, much less my childhood handwriting. I will keep original spelling, though. I will post the paper afterward to prove authenticity.
The pinto is a car that isn’t made anymore. It is really old, but it is a classic. It is a really safe car. The pinto is the best vehicle on the road because of its quality, style, and price.
The pinto is a very well made car. It was put together by important people like Ronald Raegen & George Bush Sr. It has a good warranty because it was recommended by 99 out of 100 babies. It is very dependable for backing out of a drug bust.
The pinto’s design was created from 200 phscopaths in one mental hospital. It has a firm body design from the Texas Chainsaw murderer. The engine designed by the same person who made Jason’s chainsaw. The interior was designed by little underwear stealing elves.
The pinto only costs $1! It’s cheap! It has roadside assistance from Mike Myers (the actor)! It can be resold for $2! Twice the price! No rebates though.
I love pintos. They get you where you want! Dependable, cheap, and stylish. It’s the car you want! $1, for a bundle of a car.
As you can plainly see, my teacher, uninterested in my mild exaggerations in history, noted that I needed to indent my paragraphs and restate my conclusion, which if I might add, is a stupid grammar rule to begin with. To all you elementary teachers out there, I salute you.