Granola Bars and a finish to moderation

Are actually quite delicious. I was re-introduced to these delightful treats. Somehow the world has a different taste now that I’m coke free. Funny how that works. I also noted that I have felt like I have a lot more energy since I’ve quit the substance abuse, as that seems to be the only way to describe my previous relations to the drink. I have recently considered going vegetarian for kicks and giggles. I guess I really just enjoy challenging myself to try new and different things, or should I say lifestyles. I usually don’t do minor changes. I’m usually a big change kind of guy.

Sorry about the sort of random post last time. I was mid-gaming and mid-conversation whilst typing it, so I felt like the train of thought was more scattered and less formulated than usual. But I am my own worst critic, as they say. I’m mostly delighted with how the site came out. I’m pretty sure I’m done except for maybe a random image app I might throw on later, but we will see.

I’m also considering taking this site a little more literally. I have considered throwing up a suggestion box to have trashed ideas submitted. Then taking some of my favorite submissions and seeing if I can’t get someone to do some kind of sketch/drawing of these things. It’s still early development, but I think it would be a neat addition, and might actually get some internet infamy. We shall see.

So to count off my recent projects, as I never really have had a list of them all going at the same time:
Home video conversions (this is going to take a while. I have a ton of videos to move over and then I have to try and edit them all to look decent…)
Learning to drum (I’m happy to say I have been staying active with this. I still don’t have the drums up but I downloaded a PC metronome and have been practicing my rhythm and have already seen a lot of improvement)
Website (which as you can see has seen vast changes and a steady update)
A+ Cert (downloaded some books and going to power through those once I move)
Moving (at the end of next week. Want to help? Hit me up!)

So not too bad. Work has been pretty steady and consistent. I am still happy here and things have calmed down a bit. I am still considering the networking position thing here, although I haven’t heard any word on it yet. We also had word that we might be taking on about 50 more remote sales guys, which means we might be hiring a new person. But that’s not until a ways down the road.

I believe I’m ready to finish up my previous post about moderation about the changes in my life though. As I said before, I don’t like minor changes. I like big life-altering changes. I like to see the effect of change immediately, and generally you get that a lot faster with big change than minor. At least in my experiences. But I guess the question is why I feel a need to change.

I don’t feel like my method and logic about moderation is incorrect. I still feel that it’s such a natural truth in life. But it conflicts me because there are certain areas that I allow myself exceptions that I feel are hypocritical. For example, my distaste for the most basic of human interaction. The small talk that we all end up succumbing to in our lives and the lists of P.C. questions and responses to every day life. “How’s it going?” “Oh, you know. Just getting through the day.” or “It’s a Friday. Ready to go home.” or “Just another one of those days” when I have absolutely no idea what that means. They seem almost automated, at least to me. And I hate it. It drives me nuts. But I don’t have the kind of personality to feel like these conversations can generally contribute or develop into something more.

Not that I don’t think things could develop from small talk, but I can’t bring myself to even try and develop these things. It’s one of the reasons it’s so hard for me to actually find people I enjoy hanging out with. I took my car to have my brother’s neighbor/friend take a look at the seat belt and the entire time I’m there I couldn’t think of a single thing to say that would be interesting to him. No bit of interest came to my mind, other than random trivia and that just gets awkward. “Did you know chickens can survive for days without their heads?” is not quite the proper ice-breaker.

But I also find myself asking if maybe I’m taking things a little too seriously, but I can’t help it. My sister pointed out to me the other day that I ask the most off-the-wall questions. This followed my asking my neighbor-friend Dave, “How’s life?” One of my other favorite questions to ask people is whether they are happy or not. I find myself asking these questions at the very least once a week, and I ask myself even more often. Because that’s what I find important. And it’s hard to imagine that there are any better questions to ask someone. But I’m rabbit-trailing again.

I just wonder if maybe I did get it completely wrong. I wonder if maybe I wasn’t so opposed to simple conversation that maybe I could have even more friendships or expand them even better. Or if I would be a little more willing to compromise on moderation if I wouldn’t be even happier than I am now. This is the first time where I’ve actually seen the merit behind these thoughts, and I can’t tell if it’s because of frustration with certain parts of me or if I am genuinely growing out of my current state of mind.

I can say this. This past month has been one of the best as far as my mental health is concerned. I overcame a personal obstacle that has haunted me for over 10 years. I don’t really want to get into details about it, but I am overjoyed in what I have been able to do. So maybe I really don’t need a change. Maybe I should give myself a break and cut some slack. Who knows.

And that’s that. I have more random updates for later. Until then, go get a granola bar, put on some Louis CK and enjoy life.

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One Response to Granola Bars and a finish to moderation

  1. Brit Butler says:

    Wow. You really are posting a lot. Also, I should help you move. You know, because vacations are stupid. And I might get to see you take your shirt off. Oooh.

    PS: You and I don’t do slack, especially when it comes to ourselves. At least that’s my suspicion. So try a little slack. Or a lot! What’s the worst that can happen, right? At least you’ll have observable changes and observability does matter. 🙂

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