I will take it all

Hello. It’s been a while since my last post. Not as long as my normal absence, but noted nonetheless. I hope everyone is doing delightful. Things have been… interesting.

I’ve been pondering on a thought I have long shunned, due to frustration and what could lead to an eventual revamp of all my morals and principles. So a big one. Now this is a fun little rant I haven’t made in a while, and my sister Dana will be so delighted to hear I’m bringing it back.

I have a huge issue with moderation. I think moderation is a human condition that is both beneficial and detrimental to his/her existence. The old saying goes, Too much of a good thing is still too much. Same could also be said for having too little. So life is always about finding happy mediums. Now it’s easy to say this is all there is to it. That because of these two lessons of polarity, people would like to believe that clearly this is a “truth” that applies to all facets of life. I disagree, loudly.

Why would I disagree? I mean I am no exemption from these lessons. I’ve had too much of a good thing and too little. But I prefer this lifestyle much more to the alternative. Many people take moderation only in the context of temptations and vices. I believe people think this is the only form of moderation that is used daily in their life. What if moderation is more, though? What if it’s sort of a gateway? Moderation, to me, feels like an excuse to indulge in whims. I feel like moderation is another excuse to be able to say, These are not the actions I would normally take, but I feel within these parameters, these are acceptable conditions.

I guess the next question is, why does that offend me so? I am a true believer of trusting yourself. Not that I my faith in myself or anything. I mean if you read half my junk it sounds obnoxiously morbid sometimes. But I do trust the actions I take in life. I don’t recall at what point I started feeling this way, but I learned a few things. A) It’s extremely difficult to truly trust another person. B) Even if you trust yourself, that doesn’t mean you don’t make mistakes. C) Mistakes shouldn’t take away from your trust in a person.  And the reality of it all is that these are three of the most important mantras that make up this rant. I feel like with human interaction, trust always is a big factor, whether to make or break these interactions. Of course the other big factor is fear, but that’s for a later time.

So, trust and moderation. Now I have to make a connection. Moderation always feels half-hearted to me. As in only investing so much of yourself into it. I mean, when I was growing up, I was not opposed to drugs. About the time I hit college, I started getting annoyed of them (probably moreso the users than the drug, but whatever). My friends from high school were the high and mighty “I’m not going to do drugs” kids. I thought this was amusing, but I admired it. There mentality was to avoid it, if only on the surface, but I wasn’t one to judge. I was happy about this. I like hearing people taking firm stances.

But then they made it to college. Lo & behold they hit drugs hard about this time. Guys started picking up shrooms and acid, coke started getting passed around the apartment we were all sharing, etc. etc. I feel like this was in part due to a moderation mentality. I mean, unless you plug yourself into the drug scene at an early age, it can be going on behind your back for so long before you realize it. It was slightly amusing to see Kelli realize all the people she knew that were using illegal drugs. It’s an enormous community.

Sorry, rabbit-trailed there. I always imagine moderation like this. We are going to get metaphorical. People always have gates. These gates are our trust gates. These are the gates we always go to whenever we are social, when we are thinking, when we come across the thought of human interaction, we meet these gates. While we are always growing and learning, we generally know who/what we trust and who/what we don’t. These gates keep those things out. However, the longer we dwell on a subject, the more and more we become curious about it. This subject can be pretty much anything. A lustful thought, going out on an adventure, etc. etc. Rather than risk opening the trust gate, we use the “moderation clause” (end of fourth paragraph).

This clause creates a hole in the gate. We can sample these curious items. Wet our whistle, so to speak, but without risking opening the gate. This isn’t the issue though. It’s that we use this hole to try to fulfill our lives. We would much rather have our gates up all the time and allow these sampled portions suffice our need for excitement. I hate this sly manner of handling life. I feel like if you are going to experience something, embrace it all. Even if it hurts. Self-preservation is like masturbation makes a wonderful saying for this occasion. Why deprive yourself? Is it really worth not exposing yourself? It’s almost like a protective blanket. Yet so few recognize it, and a good chuck that do usually end up being thrill-seekers.

I feel like there is a world that people miss out on. I feel like there is so much that people often turn a blind eye to without realizing it. I know I said previously that I am currently working through this oft-discussed subject (at least in my family) and I will later. But for now, I think this will suit. More later, as well as an actual update on my life. Lots going on. Love and turpentine.